Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
