Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
My cat gives me a boner
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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