I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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