He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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