I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
