An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
