There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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