sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
