not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
