I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
