Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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