What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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