Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize