You really coming over, don't trick.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
