the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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