p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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