if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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