Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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