look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
