You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
our cab driver is having phone sex.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize