btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
