Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
