Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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