i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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