census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
