i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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