I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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