I think my vagina is haunted
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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