He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We talked him into tasing himself.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
The ass gains better be worth it
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