tonight lets celebrate not being married
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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