Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
