drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
