people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My pussy is not your playground.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I forgot how hot balto sounded
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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