my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
