I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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