Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Randomize
