Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
