i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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