Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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