just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
