You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
