everyone is single if you try hard enough
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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