Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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