I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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