Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
