After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
