If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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