She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
