Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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