I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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