I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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