Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
