My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
