Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
As shirtless as possible
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
