..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We talked him into tasing himself.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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