Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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