that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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