hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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