she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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