One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
