i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
